Tiptoe Through the Minefield

 

Read Part 1 of the series here.

Read Part 2 of the series here.

 

The topic of tween literature, books written for the “young adult” audience but often picked up by the 10-14 age bracket child, is a particularly difficult one. Children are more apt to wish to exert their will as it relates to the books they read as they hit what is sometimes called the Dialectic stage in Classical education. In this stage, young people “…try to understand the facts they have learned, and begin to relate those facts to one another in a significant way.”¹ They also begin to challenge the things they have been taught; they “…question, argue, or want to know why.”²

As puberty arrives, a potent hormonal component is thrown into the stew of young personality. Combine the questioning, arguing, and needing to know why with the growth of hormonally driven interests, and you create a terrific target for those authors who wish to take down our society and social mores along with it.

This article is more a cautionary map of hazards than a feast platter full of acceptable delights. The tween years are the years in which the benefits of your early training will start to bud and flower, or not. The trust your child places in your judgment, and furthermore in God’s judgment, will start to become manifest.

Does this mean it’s time to draw on the shoelaces of control and make them tighter? To wrap them up in a double-knot so they can’t become untied? I’ve seen parents attempt to do this with their children, and the blisters that form in the relationship burst into sores during the teen years.

Please note that this does not mean abandoning the tender nature of your child to whatever book a publisher thinks will sell; it implies involvement in their choices, and sometimes granting permission to read a book you might think is less uplifting. There’s a big If involved here; if your child is able to narrate the story, and talk with you openly about the choices, positive and negative, of the protagonist, and the consequences the character experiences as a result of those choices. Understanding if the consequences are what would happen in real life, and your being able to question them through the process of determining what would really happen in a situation, are a vital part of the process of letting go a bit, letting them feel some confidence in their abilities to reason, and setting the stage for the opening horizons of the teenage years.

I’m sure there are those who will disagree with me, but I think it more important to build a firm foundation of Faith and Ethics in the early years than to try to hammer the child into a completely confining attic in the teen years. A good foundation and ongoing communication between you keep things on compass for later. My favorite question for my child, when sharing ideas, was to ask, “Well, what do you think about that (event, book, music, person, etc.)?” By asking an open-ended question, I was able to understand where my child was coming from, and guide in the direction I thought most in line with what God would want.

That being said, the basic principles of book choice laid out in previous articles hold true; try to acquire books that honor one’s heritage, uphold God’s Word and World, support the family (while addressing the tween-ager more as an individual than in earlier years), and convey a sense of adventure for boys, as well as a home-oriented perspective for the young ladies.

That being said, there are themes being popularized that are completely contrary to the Word of God; one of these is the gay or lesbian teen theme. While examples of characters with this particular bent of sin nature can be found in literature as early as ancient Greece, the current culture’s fascination with it began in the 1970s. Authors whose work has popularized lesbianism or homosexuality include Rosa Guy (Ruby, 1976); Sandra Scoppettone (Happy Endings Are All Alike, 1978); and Judy Blume, whose novels may not be overt, but address “taboo” topics. Nancy Garden produced a number of books addressing lesbianism, starting in the mid-1980s. Alex Sanchez writes books with gay themes, as do a variety of other writers.

Why am I naming names? It’s the parent’s “bookstore protection plan”: let’s say you go to the local bookstore with family members and your tween-ager drags you over to the young adult section, then shoves a book under your nose and asks if you will buy it for him or her. Knowing which authors tend to produce novels with untrustworthy themes can shortcut the evaluation process, especially if you have educated your child about which authors come under the headings of “never” or “with guidance.” A parent may not have time to read over every book his or her tween may want to peruse; therefore a shortcut system is useful.

I don’t think I have to reiterate that books that encourage disrespect of parents break the 5th commandment. These books are more difficult to sort out on the shelves, and I think they are better handled by the inquiry method, making sure to read the blurbs and ask your child how the main character treats his or her parents, and what that character thinks about his or her parents. If the character thinks the parents are dumbbunnies who are out of the loop and deserve to be disobeyed, I wouldn’t necessarily forbid the book, but would approach it with caution and discussion while it’s being read.

Deserving a similar treatment are books that question the Christian Faith or promote atheism–caution and discussion, not outright censure. I would consider it training in defending the Faith to work through the issues presented in the book. It’s a very different thing to be permissive in a child’s reading choices and to be strategic. I would ask myself how I could use the book in training my child rather than flat forbidding it, unless it’s so extreme I could not condone anyone in my family reading it, adult or child.

The tween years are full of challenges. How does one walk the fine line between crushing a child’s spirit and compromising deeply held beliefs? With the proliferation of books for tweens on controversial and anti-Biblical topics, it’s difficult. It requires an increased level of alertness and commitment: reading reviews of new books as they come out, and being on the alert for tendencies towards particular sins in a child’s nature that could be exacerbated by the theme of this or that novel.

Be on the lookout for quality tween novels that promote your heritage. This is even tougher than avoiding bad influences. A Google search for “tween novels celebrating european heritage” turned up one, and that was only for Irish heritage. A Wikipedia search for “novels for tweens set in the viking age” turned up a number of them with that setting; do I know how they address Viking religion vs. Christianity? No, I don’t. But the list might be a good starting point for exploration. Novels set in the Italian Renaissance would be another starting point for research. Scotland’s finest historical figures is another good starting point. I don’t think it necessary to list every European region in order for you to come up with good search terms for novels; remember to phrase your search in all lower case (it forces the search engine to search for entries in all lower case, all upper case, and the normal combination of upper and lower case), and put quotes around any words you absolutely must have together in your results.

Even with all your caution and care, there is no guarantee your child will follow your path precisely; we all come about our adult selves in our own way. Still, by carefully building a foundation of love and faith in the early years and guiding children carefully as they mature, the chances are far greater that he or she will develop as a strong, thinking, Christian adult. Yes, we tiptoe through the minefield as they reach the tween years and must address those years with prayer, thought, and action.

I am reminded of the hawk who guards the nest until the chick is fully fledged, then helps it to fly in the way hawks fly, graceful, soaring, and ever watchful. Or, to put it another way, better the alert and vigilant hawk, than the helpless mouse on the ground whom the hungry hawk surveys.

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